But I'm one who enjoys a good joke even if I'm the butt of it so read on.
Wanting to show a friend from KC around Bangkok I suggested we visit the "Grand Palace". It is a remarkable place to see. And it is next to Wat Pra Khao - home of the Emerald Buddha, the most revered idol in Thailand. But there is one problem. Outside the walls there are the most horrific hucksters you can find. They are like gnats in your face with postcards, hand-painted silk wall hangings, key chains, pens that when you click them flash "Thailand" - it goes down hill from there. Trust you get the picture.
I've been here before I know the story - or so I thought. We arrived around 4PM. I'd been warned about hucksters who will try to tell you "Palace closed - we give tour to other places". But indeed the Grand Palace closes at 3:30PM and we missed our opportunity. Then someone dressed in what appeared to be "Grand Palace Uniform" approaches and suggest we take a tour of 4 other Wat (temples) around the area for only 40 THB - that's about $1.15. I'm thinking, I want to show my friend the city, something he will remember, we both talk and off we go in a Tuk-Tuk. Those of you who followed my 2008 blog have seen what this little vehicle is. It is a 3 wheeled open air fun-mobile. You get all the sights and smells of Bangkok, including the fumes from the exhaust.
First place we visit is the Wat Indrawiharn - the temple of the Standing Buddha (see pic). We look, I take some pics. I tried my best to get a sense of when my friend had seen all that he wanted to see. After a few moments looking up at the Standing Buddha I had the feeling my friend was ready to move on. So I suggest we go to the next Wat. Back we go to where our Tuk-Tuk driver said he would be waiting for us.
here he was. Sleeping. "We're back" I said. I figured in English or Thai he would know we were ready to move on. " "Ok sir, we go, but first let me wash my face." I'm thinking wash face? He then said "use restroom". Ok, that makes sense. "5 minutes sir." Ok 5 minutes wait. Why not do this while we were twisting our necks looking up at the Standing Buddha? I thought, OK, he was sleeping woke up and found he needed to use the restroom. Made sense.
So my friend and I sit in the Tuk-Tuk and wait. Suddenly the man sitting by the side on a bench say's hello in what sounded like really good English. To make a long story short, he said he was an orthopedic doctor who grew up in the south of Thailand near U-Tapao (famous US base during Vietnam War). He spoke of US soldiers coming to his parents home and that is how he learned "American English". He said he was waiting on his wife and family who were praying at the Wat before the Standing Buddha. Then he starting telling us about all the items we could purchase cheaply here in Bangkok. He showed us the rings he was wearing, the pants he had on etc. He named off a few shops that we should visit for guaranteed quality.
Our driver returned and we said our goodbye to the man. Of we go. And where too? Would you believe the Jewelery shop that the man told us to be sure to visit. I'm not sure if we caught on at this point - maybe coincidence. So we go in, look around leave and there was our Tuk-Tuk driver waiting for us. He then said you need to visit 5 min. Why? If you stay 5 min, I get Gasoline Ticket. If you stay only 2 min I don't. Suddenly we realized we'd been had.
Next stop a tailor shop. "Where are you from?" said the man who greeted us. I figured now that was the standard question so they know who on their staff to "take care of us". Had I said "Italy", I'm sure one of the other men standing around spoke Italian. It was intense pressure. I said "we are leaving in the morning" - that' was true for my friend. "Sir, we can have your suit ready for you and deliver to your hotel by midnight". Intense pressure. "Come, we show you catalogue" - this was an Arab tailor shop. I was already feeling nervous. I checked my watch. Had we been here 5 min? Yes - let's leave.
There was our Tuk-Tuk driver waiting. I said "5 min", he smiled and put his "free gas ticket" in the visor and off we go. Where too?
Another jewelry store. I told the man behind the counter "we are here to buy gas".
I was about ready to pay our driver 40 THB and get a cab, but it became funny to us and so we went along. Eventually my friend did purchase a bracelet for his wife - hope he tells her the story.
During our rides between the shops we realize the man who spoke good "American English" was also part of the scam. I intend to go back to Wat Indrawiharn - on my own - and take his picture and post here. Hopefully he will not remember me. I'll see if maybe the next time he says he was a former CIA agent for the US during the Vietnam conflict.
It was close to 6 PM by the time we saw our last Wat. I asked the driver what was the best way to get back to our our part of the city - we were now quite some distance from our hotel and the traffic in Bangkok is horrific. He suggested we take boat to connect to the Skytrain. Well, not having done that before and being in what seemed to be a rough part of town, my friend and I decided to take a cab and suffer how ever long it took to get home - at least we would be safe and in air conditioning.
My friend added "Phil, if we took the boat, I'm sure there would be a tailor on board who would promise to have the suit made by the time the boat reached the other dock." I busted out laughing and added "yea, and look at how rough the water is now. I'm sure one sleeve would be longer than the other."
When I think about it, this experience was perhaps more exciting for my friend than seeing the Grand Palace. And that was my intent - to provide a good 1st visit to Bangkok for my friend. Besides, he's coming back here next year and can visit it on his own - and be savvy to the scams. This experience was a hoot. We have some "one-liners" that I'm sure will bring back the moment and give us both a good laugh for a long time to come.
And what was our cost? Near to nothing - just time. And time to see parts of the city we both might never had experienced - in 5 minute increments.
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